Valentines Day Celebration

Solution

V Day is days away. Are you wondering about ways to treat that special person in your life? Are you considering fancy chocolates and fine wine, or perhaps a sensual massage?

Our recommendation is simple and direct. Gratitude Kudos... This year on February 14th, while many couples are spending the big bucks at restaurants, drinking overpriced wines, try cuddling on your couch and saying nice things to each other. Because it turns out that despite all the efforts to impress on V-Day, simply appreciating each other does more for your relationship than almost anything else.

Here is another suggestion... Try celebrating Valentine’s Day the day after on February 15th, 16th or any other day when restaurant reservations, fine wines, chocolates and flowers are on sale. Why pay inflated prices when you could have your own romantic day anytime you chose? Everyday is Valentines.

Our apologies to those high priced flowers stores, fine wineries, romantic restaurants and Victoria's Secret.

You don’t have to come up with something big. Simply noticing the small things your partner does daily, whether it’s shopping for groceries or driving in the snow, is enough to change those neural circuits.

Gratitude goes both ways. Saying thank you to a partner isn’t ceding power or becoming dependent—it’s just a way of improving your relationship. Being positive and finding the good in each other is really the best gift you can give on Valentine’s Day.

Here is a test from Marriage and Family Therapy Dr. C. Davis:

1. Do you see your partner as a best friend?

A) Definitely. B) On some days. C) Rarely. D) Never.

2. Can you share concerns with your partner?

A) Always. B) Sometimes. C) Rarely. D) Never.

3. For the things that matter the most to you, such as politics, religions, do you and your partner share similar values and beliefs?

A) Mostly share values. B) Have some differences but also some common areas. C) Mostly different values. D) Radically different values.

4. How often do you feel like you would choose again to be in a committed relationship with your partner?

A) On most days. B) On some days. C) Rarely. D) Never.

5. Are you able to freely share your feelings and emotions with your partner?

A) Always. B) Sometimes. C) Rarely. D) Never.

6. Do you and your partner have compatible hopes and dreams in life?

A) Completely compatible. B) Mostly compatible. C) Somewhat compatible. D) Not at all.

7. Even if you don't always share your partner's tastes or would not necessarily make the same choices as him or her, do you understand your partner's world?

A) Completely. B) Mostly. C) Somewhat. D) Not at all.

8. Are you able to come up with mutually satisfying solutions to resolve conflicts with your partner?

A) All the time. B) Sometimes. C) Rarely. D) Never.

9. Can you and your partner truly forgive one another when you get mad?

A) Always. B) Sometimes. C) Rarely. D) Never.

10. Do you feel emotionally and physically safe with your partner?

A) All the time. B) Sometimes. C) Rarely. D) Never.

The good doctor suggests that if you answered mostly all A's, your relationship is in pretty good shape. If you answered mostly B's, you might want to head for a couples check-up. Mostly C's, you have some work to do if you want to make it to Valentine's Day 2016. And mostly D's? Time to take a serious look at why you're sticking around.