I was recently surprised by another unsolicited message from a former student, so I decided to share this one with all of you. All my students' names remain anonymous.
"I came here to message you a thank you, and saw our correspondence from a decade ago. At this point... I doubt you remember me, but I came to college as a TV/Film major and left as a TV producer and journalist. I now run a network. Class of 2008. You’re my first great teacher, and one I think about often. I didn’t know what to expect from college, but you were the first to show me what it meant to be a leader. Give the tools, don’t micromanage, but always make sure your message is clear. I’m messaging you because I’ve become more involved in the alumni program. I look back at my time there and see only three influences: Phillip with film, Vincent with radio, and you with journalism. I’ll never forget when you showed us a documentary, and you were emotional. You taught me then that feeling is reporting. I know the communications program has been discontinued, but I want to thank you for setting me up to get here. Most importantly, it sparked my passion to be a journalist. Your lessons early on will always stay with me. Hope you get this message."
Fear and shame tend to stay with us long after adulthood. The words we hear, the way we’re treated, the silence after a mistake—all of it shapes how we see ourselves.
That’s why how we speak to children matters. In what we teach, and also in how we make them feel.
The phrase grow as a person is the process of personal development and self-improvement.
It is gaining new insights, developing emotional intelligence, enhancing skills, and becoming more empathetic or self-aware. This kind of growth often involves learning from experiences, reflecting on one's actions, and striving to become a better version of oneself.
In contrast, the term "grow" can refer to any form of increase or expansion, not necessarily related to personal development. For example, one might grow in terms of physical size, knowledge, or skills without the deeper implications of personal growth.
- Grow as a person: Focuses on emotional, ethical, and psychological development.
- Grow: Can refer to any increase or enhancement in various intellectual contexts.
- Grow as a person: Implies a conscious effort to improve oneself and reflect on personal experiences.
- Grow: May not involve intentionality; it can be a natural process.
- Grow as a person: Leads to greater self-awareness, empathy, and interpersonal skills.
- Grow: Results in a broader range of outcomes depending on the context, skills, and knowledge.
Therefore, growing as a person emphasizes a deeper, more intentional form of growth that involves self-discovery and improvement, while "grow" is a more general term that can apply to various types of development.
Discipline does not need to come with fear. Guidance does not need to create shame.
We can correct with care. We can set boundaries and still protect their sense of worth.
Because the goal is not only to raise well-behaved children, it’s to raise people who grow up feeling safe in themselves.