The Pearly Gates are a Christian tradition as the entranceway through which souls travel to reach God. The gates of heaven are said to be guarded by Saint Peter, one of the founders of Christianity. He stopped these three GOP fathers
You never practiced but proclaimed to be Christians.
You worshiped money and the rich Muslims.
You deeply hated the downtrodden.
You cheered for cruelty and pain.
WTF - Who are you kidding?
Keep your silly red caps off.
Get the hell out of here!
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A classic-style twist joke with a setup straight out of a heavenly fable that plays on expectations and flips the punchline neatly at the end.
Three Republicans, Mike, JD, and Donnie, arrive at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greets them and says, “ Before you enter Heaven. There are two key principles to remember: First, acknowledge that God is the Almighty Ruler. Second, don’t step on a duck.”
They look around and realize Heaven is full of ducks, waddling everywhere.
A few days go by, and Mike accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter appears instantly with the ugliest, meanest, grumpiest person you’ve ever seen and chains them together. “This will be your eternal companion,” he says.
JD laughs… until a few days later when he, too, steps on a duck. St. Peter shows up again with someone even worse-looking and chains them together.
Donnie, now terrified, becomes extra careful. Days pass while he is waiting. Then weeks. He doesn’t step on a single duck.
Finally, St. Peter approaches him with the most stunningly attractive younger woman Donnie has ever seen. Without saying a word, he chains them together. Donnie is overwhelmed. “Wow! I don’t know what I did to deserve this!”
The woman sighs and says with an accent, “I don’t care what happened. I stepped on the duck.”
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