Drummer Boy
The sixty-something-year-old who lives in my building thinks he is a real drummer because he likes to bang with his drumsticks.
Never mind that he does this at night while most normal folks sleep, but he can't even keep a beat. Therefore he is more like a dumber boy.
What makes a great drummer? There are many metrics to consider, but there are various rankings in no particular order based on technical skill, creativity/innovation, compositional ability, and attitude.