Calling all couples. Hear ye, hear me... A good friend recently said that I was a well-trained spouse and that I should share my secrets of navigating the long and winding road. So to never disappoint, here we go... https://youtu.be/fR4HjTH_fTM
Never lie to your partner, never stop courting, don’t stop dating. Give her pleasure and NEVER EVER take each other for granted.
When we got married, we promised each other that we would OWN EACH OTHER's HEART and fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure we’re entrusted with. WE CHOSE EACH OTHER and we’ll never forget it, or be lazy with 💕 love.
WE’LL PROTECT OUR OWN HEARTS. Just as we’re committed to being the protector of each other’s harts, we must also guard our own. We must love ourselves fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in our heart ♥️ where no one must enter except us. We will keep that space for each other and not let anyone or anything else enter.
SO TO STAY IN LOVE. We must not only evolve but also adjust. We’re not going to be the same people years from now that we are today. Change will come, and with it, we have to choose each other every day.
WORK TO STAY TOGETHER, and if we don’t take care of each other, who else will. We will try to keep the passionate love we shared when we were dating.
TO SEE THE BEST in each other, we must focus on what we love about each other and it will expand. Because otherwise, we find reasons to be upset. If we focus on what we love, we can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point that we know that we’re luckiest spouses on earth because we have the most amazing life partner.
IT’S NOT OUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX each another… It is to love each other with no expectation of changing one another. And when we change, love what we become, whether it’s what you like or not.
TO TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for our own emotions: We are responsible for finding our own happiness, and through that our joy will fill our relationship and our love.
NEVER BLAME… If WE get frustrated or angry, it is only because it is triggering something inside. These are emotions and our responsibility. When we have those feelings take time to look within and understand what needs to be healed.
SHARE our feelings. When there is sadness or one of us is upset, we will hold and squeeze one another and say it’s going to be OK.
LISTEN to each other to show that we’re the most important persons and the pillars on which the other can always lean on. Spirits may change and emotions will roll in and out, but we'll remain strong and non-judging.
WE WON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN one is upset. We will stand present and strong and let the other know we aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what the other is really saying behind the words and emotion.
LET US BOTH ACT SILLY… and never take ourselves so seriously. Laugh. And make each other laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
WE’LL FILL OUR SOULS EVERYDAY… Learn the language of love and the specific ways each other feels is very important, should be validated and CHERISHED.
We’ll create a list of THINGS that make each other feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority every day to make one another feel extremely special.
TO BE THERE FOR THE OTHER. Give each other our time, our focus, our attention, and our souls. Do what it takes to stay together as ONE.
TO SHARE OUR SEXUALITY; to consume and devour each other with passion, and to penetrate the deepest levels of our beings into softness by trusting each other fully.
TO GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE… The good SPOUSE is good at giving and taking but sometimes will need to be reminded to take time to nurture one another. SOMETIMES there will be a need to fly from our own branches to go and find what feeds the soul, and if we allow that space they will return with new songs to sing.
TO BE VULNERABLE… we don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share our fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge our mistakes. Especially those things we don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open our hearts and let the other in when we don't know what we will find... Part of that courage is allowing our partner to love completely, our darkness as well as our light. DROP THE MASK… or never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
TO KEEP GROWING TOGETHER… The flowing stream is fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when a muscle stops working, just as it is if we stop working on our relationship.
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a means to find ways to work together as a team and to spend it. It never helps when teammates fight over it.
TO FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let our history hold us hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either one of us makes, is like a heavy anchor to our marriage and will hold us back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. This is the only rule we need. If this is the guiding principle through which all our choices are governed, there is nothing that can stop happiness as long as friendship, respect and love endures.
It isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work and commitment to growing together as well as a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure. Through that work, happiness will follow.
This is real life that bring ups and downs. By embracing all the cycles and choosing to learn from them and embrace every experience will give us strength and perspective to keep on building each day.
We’re lucky because it has taken a few tries to get to where we are, We are years older but thank God not deeper in debt than when we met. Biology being what it is, we feel less urgent about sex than we do about sleep. But if anyone had told us that a decade into our relationship, sex wouldn’t be on the top of my priority list, we would have laughed.
We also occasionally do that awful thing of bickering, but we are now more likely to snipe than laugh when life foils our plans. Like other couples, we argue. Sometimes, misunderstandings arise because of our different ways of dealing with crises. Calmly we must.
Maybe the crux of the matter is that we know each other well enough now to show our true selves. Sometimes we must talk in the dark about some recent difficulty and how we might resolve them together, as we drift off, entwined, realizing there’s no reason to feel scared but to feel lucky to have each other.
Unlike others, President Jimmy Carter and his wife Rosalynn have been married for 73 years. The key to their happy marriage boils down to “a couple of rules that we follow,” said the former POTUS https://www.cnbc.com/2019/07/11/jimmy-and-rosalynn-carter-share-keys-to…